Struggling With Feeling Seen? Important?
Do you struggle… wondering what is next for you in this phase of life? Do you wonder if you’ve moved into that season of life where you just take a back seat.
In this video, which is part of my series on Curating a Life You Love After 50, we exploie this timely and important topic that many women struggle with.
Feeling Relevant & Finding Purpose
Overcoming self-doubt, staying engaged in society, contributing meaningfully.
Let’s face the reality of 50, for many - we may struggle with weight, health, sleep, hormones, weird aches and pains.
We often don’t love what we see looking back at us in the mirror.
We may have careers that are unfulfilling. Relationships and marriages that are, too.
Grown or nearly grown children who now have less time for you, and maybe less interest in you and your opinions.
You may be asking, who am I now? Who have I been? Am I happy with that?
And, more importantly, which is where I want to focus in this series - Who do I want to become?
In this series on 50, 60 and beyond and curating a life you love, in relationships, career and purpose, health and more. I’m Jackie Ulmer, helping you create a more fulfilling life, mindful of healthier living and less toxic stressors. Grab my guide.
This series will focus on ideas around:
Feeling Relevant & Finding Purpose
Health & Well-being
Discipline & Productivity and Routines
Dealing with Others’ Opinions
Organization, possibly downsizing and some for of Minimalism
Healthy Eating and simple meal prep
Relationships & Social Life
Career & Passion Projects
Mission Work & Giving Back
So how do we go about feeling relevant and finding purpose?
I’ve discussed this with other women over the years. My 50th birthday brought about a load of emotions and realizations. I go into detail in the video.
1. I spent it alone, for the most part, which is usually fine.
2. I became aware of a more finite feeling about the rest of my life
3. I began to focus on bucket list and no longer saying - next time
4. I began to re-evaluate my time and how I spend it
5. My career, passion projects and making impact.
What makes us feel relevant? What makes us doubt our worth and ability to continue to contribute?
Society and its norms for women. Appearance, Body image and confidence, skin, wrinkles and “anti aging”,
My adventure into Barnes and Noble, magazines, and how women are profiled vs men. Martha Stewart and sports illustrated, Photoshopping for women?
Pierce Brosnan, Sean Connery Harrison Ford, Tim Cook of Apple - this is who was profiled on the Men's magazines.
Women? All in their 20s and 30s. Why the difference?
Here are my thoughts on feeling relevant and happy, which leads to being relevant and happy.
First who gets to decide your worth or relevance?
Do we need outside validation?
Tip 1 - Overcome your own self doubt. Validate yourself every day.
My outfit - the networking event, 3 men who commented. How I Felt. See this in the video!
My history with hats.
What do you doubt about yourself? Write it down. Why? What beliefs and stories from the past?
What if you did it in spite of, like me and hats.
Tip 2 - Stay engaged in society and tech
My story of the internet. My thoughts around being the party starter, connector and doing things, sometimes in spite of.
2025 is a big year for me, doesn’t matter when you are listening. Make it big for you. What's on your calendar?
New Year’s Day brunch - 43 people, very eclectic group.
Galentine’s Day brunch for women - again eclectic
My own birthday party with my friend who shares bday
Trips - Buffalo and the Great Lakes, 3 presidential libraries in TX, My 4 missing states: Vermont, North Dakota, South Dakota and Wyoming. New York at Christmas with my granddaughter.
Other events including progressive dinners and salons.
Tech for me is my YouTube channel, my live cooking show, and mastering editing and videography.
My 3rd Tip for this video is focus on contributing meaningfully
For yourself and others.
Meaningful contribution brings us joy. What lights you up? What do you enjoy doing?
A few things I am focused on this year:
Organizing my home, re-designing some of the decor and doing sad with consignment - I’m videoing the process and sharing so make sure you are subscribed.
Monetizing and growing my youtube channel.
The Pilot Wide Podcast and Travel Life by a pilot wife YouTube - passion project, and if it monetizes, okay!
Travel with my family and grand daughter experiences - lexi stories.
Vitamin G - my girlfriends and gal pals - my husband, the pilot does not love to travel like me. I’ve made peace with that. So, now I have my bucket list and I run it by him, and then move forward with friends on other trips. No one needs to be mad.
Thoughts for you:
Do an honest personal inventory. What do you really want? Make a list of 25 things - could be things you have too, but also what are you longing for? What is stopping you? I shared my husband and making peace with travel while not abandoning it myself.
Areas of focus - joy, health, longevity, purpose, bucket lists.
What beliefs and stories are stopping you? Do they really need to stop you?
What small steps will you take today to course correct this?
I’d love to hear in the comments.
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